Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award

Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award


I was nominated for the “Sisterhood of the World Bloggers” award, by Stories and a Smile. Thanks! 🙂 I’m so happy you enjoyed my blog enough to nominate me.

I haven’t had the time to look through her blog much, but from what I’ve seen I can definitely recommend it.

Here are the rules…

1. Thank the blogger who nominated you, linking back to their site.
2. Put the award logo on your blog.
3. Answer the ten questions they’ve set you.
4. Make up ten new questions for your nominees to answer.
5. Nominate ten people.

And the questions for me to answer are…

1. Where is one place you would love to visit?
Lemme pull a mainstream here and say London, from what I’ve seen, London and the surrounding area sounds like a very nice place.
2. What is your favorite song at the moment?
My favorite song since I discovered it in May of this year is Lindsey Stirling’s cover of River Flows In You. Kinda boring for a lot of people no doubt, but this song is important to me.
3. What is your favorite tv show?
That… That’s not a question you’re allowed to ask! Who said you could ask such a question? I guess… if I had to choose… I’d have to say… BBC’s Sherlock. I love so many tv shows, guys, Doctor Who another notable one, but if I had to pick, I’d say Sherlock edges out the others by just a tiny bit.
4. If you could invite someone over for dinner (alive or dead) who would it be?
This is kind of like asking a Christian what his or her favorite book is. Obs I’m going to say Jesus. But, since that’s an answer all Christians share, I guess I’ll also tell you who my second choice would be. Probably CS Lewis. He’s kind of my hero, in a lot of ways. Although admittedly I’d be a tad bit nervous trying to make conversation with someone as brilliant as he.
5. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why?
The ability to transform the clouded and foggy thoughts in my head into words on a screen without spending lengthy amounts of time sifting through words in the English language, only to have to settle on words that can’t ever seem to quite capture my exact meaning. My current predicament is quite annoying. As a writer, I hate it so much I’ve chosen to spend the rest of my life doing it. :3
6. What is your favorite time of day? (night, morning, midday, etc)
On principle, I like it when I can wake up just before the sunrise and can go outside to look at the dewy roses while the sun comes up. It may be for that reason that In the Garden has been my favorite worship song for as long as I can remember.
7. Do you have any pets? If not, what pet would you want?
My family has two beagle littermates, Bixie and Capt. Jack. They’re about 5 1/2 now.
8. What do you feel is the best thing about yourself?
Oh gosh. That’s a good question. Um. I guess, right now, if I had to call any of the things that I do or am to be my best quality, I’d say it was my empathy. Now, the empathy thing can be really annoying at times, too, and I can overreact to what I think are nonverbal cues quite often when there are none, but for the most part I have the ability to talk to another person and understand their emotional troubles quite well. A lot of the time, I am able to feel exactly what they feel. That comes in handy when trying to help others who are hurting. I’d have to say that’s the quality I value most in myself, at least for the time being.
9. Who is your favorite character in a book or a movie, and why do you like them so much?
Darn it, this is like that tv show question! You can’t expect me to answer this! There are so many, guys, but for now I’m going to say Elsa. Elsa is special to me because she is the closest to embodying me that any fictional character has ever come.
10. Why did you start blogging?
Ah yes, ok, finally, a question I can answer. I started this site after I had long wanted an account, but after looking at that site, knew I could never associate myself with such a worldly environment. I could trust my own content, of course, but I’d never be able to trust commenters. So instead I opted to create my own site for fangirls who, like me, wanted to write and read fanfiction, but didn’t want to compromise their morals in the process. And thus Clean Fangirling was born. 🙂

My nominees:

I’ll admit, I don’t follow very many blogs myself. I don’t even know if I follow 10. But, I’ll aim for as close to the allotted 10 as I can get.

Proceeding with Joy

A Scattering of Light

The Peculiar Messenger

Journeys of an Industrious Yarnwriter

Idle Wanderings

Sorry, but those 5 will just have to be enough.

My Questions:

1. Favorite quote from a person living or dead?
2. Favorite quote from a fictional character?
3. If you could bring any fictional character back to life, who would it be?
4. What do you most value about yourself?
5. Favorite song with lyrics?
6. Favorite song without lyrics?
7. Cats or dogs?
8. Introvert or Extrovert?
9. Poetry or prose?
10. Why did you start blogging originally?

Thanks again for the nomination! I hope my nominees enjoy the award and keep the cycle going.


Posted by on January 1, 2015 in *Le Personal


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The Denouement

With this year coming to a close, it’s time to look back on the “unravelling” of it. 2014. 2014… How shall I sum thee up? So many things happened this year, and so much changed in my life. Ok. I guess I’ll go chronologically.

The year kicked itself off with me basically entering depression for a few months, though at the time I refused to call it so. The period of time in which I can say I experienced true depression, and not just natural mood swings, ended around the beginning of April. So that’s how this year started off.

In early April my family bought a house. This was one of the last houses we bid on before considering moving out of the San Francisco Bay Area, and we won the bid at a lower price than our competitor, would you believe it. And we had exactly, not one penny more, but exactly enough money to pay the downpayment and move. And as a side note being so busy with packing and school and packing and more school quite possibly helped me out of depression, too. God really does have some good timing.

At the end of July a really cool thing happened. I woke up to a Facebook message from a person I had long wanted to be friends with, but never was able to get close to at all. Turns out he recently realized he wanted that same thing, and unlike me who had basically just been giving subtle hints for the past two years, he realized that he wanted me as a friend and decided to, well, make that happen. And now? Well… Anyone online who talks to me more than half a second has probably heard me refer to Josh at least once. Coolest thing that happened this year. Hands-down. Absolutely.

And then my junior year of high school began. Oh my goddess Nayru, guys, this is the busiest I have ever been. I thought sophomore year was busy… In the words of Thorin Oakenshield, “I have never been so wrong.” School may sound like kind of something that’s in the background of life and not really on the highlight reel. Well. This is not the background of my life. This is the forefront. And as I am after all only a lowly teenager going through that horrible thing we call “puberty” at the same time, this part of 2014 has been… interesting, to say the least. Thank God I made that best friend of mine back in July, because I can only assume that He knew I’d need friends with me to do this without blowing up.

Ok. Well. I’d be surprised if I haven’t lost a few readers by this point… This is turning out to be a really long New Year’s Eve post. Sorry guys. I kind of tend to ramble.

Last year, on 2013’s New Year’s Eve post, I mentioned some things I wanted to do this year. Well. Haha. I did almost none of those things. This year… It was not at all what I could have expected. In some ways it was harder, of course, and in some ways, it was so much better. This year was drastically different than I expected and the things I achieved were almost entirely different from the things I thought I would be. It was hard, and different, and a lot of it was pretty scary, but is proof to me that all things work to the good of those who love God and are called according to His service. (Romans 8:28)

I owe the success of this year to quite a few people, and here’s where I’d like to thank just a few of them. Thank you all so much. You are the reasons I can reflect on this year with satisfaction.

You’re really cool. Like. No, seriously. It’s my philosophy that no matter what you get on your Myres Briggs test it’s physically impossible for a child to be a true T type. Pubescent humans will simply always have traces of F in them while growing. But you break that mold. You’re 13 years old and you hold yourself together in emotionally tense situations better than I do. You’re incredible.

Wow. My little boy is almost gone. There’s still traces of him, sure—traces that I for better or worse continue to cling to—but you’re growing up. As time goes on I’m sure that the age gap between us will slowly fade away and we’ll simply be friends… But for now, I can still get away with occasionally treating you like my own little boy. Well. I mean. I’m sure I’ll always think of you that way. Heck, I think of nearly everyone that way, and you’re my baby brother. But the point stands. You’re growing up, and I can’t wait to see the man you grow into.

•My parents
A lot of the things I said last year continue into this year. You still love me more than pretty much anyone else, and your critiques are still the most trustworthy. I’ve been realizing, and I think both of you have been too, this year, that I’m growing up. I’m 16 now. In two years, I’ll be an officially recognized adult. Growing up to some means needing parents less and relying on yourself more, and while that’s true from a certain angle, I think that in these next few years I’ll be needing you as much as I ever have. I have a lot to learn in these years, and you hold almost all the answers. So thank you, so very much, for everything you’ve done for me already. But your job isn’t quite over yet. 😋

I owe quite a bit to you, you know. Arguably I owe 2014 to you. Without you I would have openly declared this year to be my worst year on record. In the space of a few months, you have gone from a light acquaintance to my best friend, and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be. You know how I feel about words and finding the perfect ones to describe things, so you know how much it means when I tell you that you remain ineffable to me. I will be here for you for as long as you will have me… and though I’d never let you see it, quite possibly after that, as well.

At the beginning of this year if I knew you’d be at church I’d wear a nicer shirt and put on extra makeup. Now look. I mean, heck, Josh introduced us, but technically I was friends with you before I was friends with him. Daisies remind me of you for some reason. I’m still not sure exactly what that one’s about, but I’m an INFJ, so there’s probably a profound underlying meaning of some kind. Do what you will with that. Anyway. Don’t stop being awesome.👌

Congrats on being the only person from last year (minus family) who’s also here this year. Sure, there were times this year where we both were so busy at such different times that we barely talked to each other at all, but as that one saying goes, “true friendship isn’t about being inseparable; it’s about being separated and nothing changes.” You’re an amazing friend and an amazing person. Remember that. And don’t forget—pants.

You’re all kinds of awesome. A beautiful dancer, a great piano teacher, a fun personality, a talented writer. Also fellow INFJ. It’s funny, sometimes, when I see in you things that I legitimately thought were just me. Having days where you kind of just can’t put thoughts into words and end up just slamming your fingers onto the keyboard, for one. Making analogies as a way of explaining things. I mean… It’s just like poetry. 😂

Thank you. I never even told you, just as I never told a lot of people, that this year was proving to be a tough one for me, and yet you still were able to make me feel better every time I talked to you. Even through a computer your very personality radiates joy, and when I talk to you, some of that joy often leaks into me. You are truly beautiful, from the inside out.

We’ve never actually met, but regardless, you and I understand each other. And that is a beautiful thing. Talking with you has always left me feeling refreshed. It’s not often I find someone who works the same way I do, and you seem to operate in all those same ways. Thank you.

This year has proved to me that people you never expected to leave can sometimes fade out of your life, but that people you never expected to come into your life can walk right into it, too. God has perfect timing, always.

Now for the New Year’s Resolution bit. We all know how well that worked for me last year… But maybe this year will be different. And if I’m destined not to complete this checklist, then maybe, much like this year, I’m destined for better than it.

•I will have a full first draft of my first novel.

•I will be able to drive.

•I will have completed my junior year of high school.

•I will complete my Goodreads book-reading challenge.

•I will have 365 rows of a day-by-day scarf.

I make these plans keeping James 4:15 in mind: “Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.” I’m setting these goals now, but should The Lord direct me elsewhere, I will not hesitate to go.

Happy New Year, everyone. And may it be blessed.

With love in fandom and in Christ,

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Posted by on December 31, 2014 in *Le Personal


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Holiday Spirit

Holiday Spirit

“Hello, Sweetie,” River whispered to herself as the TARDIS materialized in front of her and the door swung open. She stepped inside without a second thought and snapped the doors closed. “Hello, Sweetie,” she repeated, louder this time, and with a wider smile.
“Hello, Doctor Song,” smiled the Doctor back. “How long’s it been since the last time?”
“Oh, just ages and ages. I’d started to think you’d forgotten about me,” River said sarcastically. He had been far from neglectful ever since she’d been put in that prison to begin with. Seeing the Doctor start to frown, she quickly added “Four whole days and no sign of you in sight. Just what do you have to say about that?” She’d wanted to deliver the lines in all seriousness, but as the Doctor recognized the sarcasm and smiled again she couldn’t help breaking her straight face and laughing.
“No, but seriously, River, how long?” he asked again.
“No, seriously, Doctor, four days,” she answered.
The Doctor rose an eyebrow and walked around the consol to be near her. “That’s hardly enough,” he said in a slightly lower voice.
River quickly raised herself to her tip toes and kissed the Doctor before lowering herself again. “It never will be.”
The Doctor chuckled. “That wouldn’t happen to have been poisoned, would it?” River only smiled.
A second later she remembered something odd about the TARDIS. “Where are Amy and Rory?”
“Gone home for the night. Well. More like the week, for them, but, benefits of a time machine.”
“I see. Well. Where exactly are we going this time?” River asked.
“It’s been four days, you say? You poor thing, you, haven’t had contact with anyone but those nasty old guards for four whole days! People. That’s the only solution. Eleven of eleven Doctors will agree.”
“Well,” River rolled her eyes playfully. “If that’s what the Doctor orders.”
“Then let’s be off!” A few quick flipped switches and pressed buttons, a few bumps and a few spins, and the TARDIS jolted to an abrupt halt. Just before the break sounds could go on, again, River covertly turned off the breaks when the Doctor wasn’t looking. He probably noticed them not there, but he did know how much she preferred the breaks left off. “And here we are!”
“Will I need to change?” River asked.
The Doctor squinted at her for a few seconds before finally nodding. “You’ll be fine, but I’d run to get a coat if I were you.”
River nodded and sprinted down the corridors of the TARIDS to her room, where she snatched up the first warm-looking thing that came to hand and sprinted back to the Doctor, putting the coat on along the way. “Will this be enough?” she asked.
“It’ll be perfect. Now let’s go.”
Hand in hand, River and the Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS and into the crowded streets of London. “When are we?”
“December. 2014, if the iPhones are any indication.”
So the Doctor hadn’t known from entering the coordinates in the TARDIS, only from knowing the time period. “…Where did you mean for us to go?”
The Doctor only shrugged. “London, at Christmastime. Didn’t enter in a specific year. But now that we are here, Doctor Song, what would you like to do?”
River looked around for a few seconds at the shining white lights decorating the streets as they contrasted the clear night sky, the wreaths on each door, the pedestrians along the sidewalks struggling to carry all of their bags, no doubt full of Christmas gifts. She sighed lightly of contentment, and thoughts trailed out of her head as she stared out at the picture.
“Are you alright?” The Doctor asked, gripping her hand a tiny bit tighter.
River was brought back to Earth with a start. “What? Yes, yes, I’m fine, of course. What was it you said?”
“I asked you what you wanted to do now that we were here. You do like it, don’t you?”‘
“Of course! Oh, it’s lovely. Walking for a bit sounds nice,” River decided.
“Then so it shall be,” replied the Doctor. Both started out at the same time, hand in hand, and they didn’t stop for a very long time.

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Posted by on December 18, 2014 in *Le Doctor Who


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The Demigods and the Blue Box Part Five

The Demigods and the Blue Box Part Five

Part Four of this series can be found here.

Annabeth shoved the Doctor as hard as she could just as a pine tree close to them fell where they had been standing only seconds earlier. “Watch out!” she yelled impulsively. Whirling around and assuming an attack stance, her dagger already drawn, Annabeth focused in on the huge dinosaur claw about two yards away from her. The two demigods still trying to hack at the thing looked her way occasionally, but couldn’t waste enough breath to verbally ask for help.
“The celestial bronze!” Annabeth shouted above the roaring dinosaur and the clanging metal. “It won’t affect it!”
The demigod closer to her, Aaron from Ares cabin, looked her way for another second before panting out “Why… in Hades… not?”
“It’s not a monster! It’s a mortal. It doesn’t matter how hard you try, you’ll never even graze it with those weapons!”
“Then what… do we do?” the other demigod, Seth, again from Ares, asked her. He obviously wasn’t ready to give up the idea of slowing the beast’s walk with his brawn, but he was slowing down a bit as he realized it was pointless.
“I have a… an ally,” Annabeth said quickly. “He can help. He says we won’t have to kill it if we take it back home instead.”
The Doctor waved from beside her. “Hello!”
Aaron rose an eyebrow. “You really trust this guy?”
“Yes,” Annabeth said.
That was enough for both of them. The word of Annabeth Chase went far throughout Camp Half-Blood. “What… do you… want us to do?” Seth asked again.
“Put away your weapons. And come with me. We need to regroup and figure out how to get this thing back home safe and sound. And we need to do it before it reaches the cabins.” In an instant both boys were retreating from the dinosaur and fleeing the woods with Annabeth and the Doctor.
“This ally of yours, is he demigod? Or mortal?” asked Aaron as they fled, zig-zagging a bit to keep the dinosaur off their trail.
“Alien,” Annabeth answered. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Aaron and Seth glance at each other incredulously. And not without reason, Annabeth reminded herself. It was a pretty hard thing to believe. She wasn’t even altogether sure herself why she believed it, but she did. “He has a small spaceship with him he calls his…” she tried to remember the word.
“TARDIS!” the Doctor was more than happy to clarify. “Time and Relative Dimension in Space. It’s a time machine, see. Now when you think of a spaceship—” the Doctor paused to swerve around a tree, “you probably get to thinking about the Enterprise, and Death Stars, and all that science-fictiony stuff that’s not really real and is really just you humans being very imaginative and a bit thick. But the TARDIS isn’t like that. It doesn’t fly, see. It kind of, disappears here, reappears there. It can travel in space and time, and it can get this ancient creature back to it’s original time, and it’s original area.”
“Wait wait wait, back up!” shouted Seth. “If Annabeth believes you’re an alien, then an alien you are. But time travel? No way. There are limits to what I can believe. I’m not that gullible. And are you trying to tell me that that thing,” he jabbed a thumb over his shoulder, “is from another time?”
Annabeth chewed on her lip for a second while the silence hung in the air and everyone focused on running to the camp. “It makes sense. The celestial bronze didn’t work on it, which means it’s mortal. And dinosaurs are extinct. And the Doctor hasn’t technically given me any reason to not trust him so far.”
“What do you mean, ‘technically’?” asked Aaron.
“Well, suddenly and unexpectedly arriving in the middle of my camp just as a huge unknown threat stumbled into is is kind of suspicious,” Annabeth allowed. They were back at camp again. When she saw Percy’s black hair in the crowd, Annabeth sighed softly in relief. Soon they could find Chiron handle this together.
Aaron’s mouth gaped while all four hurried through the assembled demigods. “Kind of?! Why isn’t he a prisoner somewhere? Why are you taking information from this guy?”
“Because!” answered the Doctor before Annabeth had a chance to open her mouth. “I’m from the planet Gallifrey, I am a thousand years old, I am the last of the Timelords, and I was called here by Annabeth Chase herself. You trust me because I am the Doctor, I am going to get that dinosaur back home, and I am going to do it before it destroys your Camp Half-Blood.”

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Posted by on December 4, 2014 in *Le Fanfic, *Le Percy Jackson


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Happy Thanksgiving!

Hey, everyone! 🙂

So firstly, since it’s Thanksgiving, I decided not to post my regularly scheduled fanfiction. It’ll be up next week, and then from there I’ll be switching which Thursday I alternate on. So one fanfic next week, then a two week break, then a fic, and so on.

Now that that’s over… Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! I was thinking about talking about how privileged we Internet-loving first world citizens are, but that sounded way mainstream. So instead of that, I’m going to talk about…

Turkey. Let’s be honest, turkey is great. And stuffing, that’s also good. Let’s just all be thankful for potatoes. That’s right. PO-TA-TOES.

“But Marie, you’re Christian! You have to talk about spiritual stuff on a religious holiday such as Thanksgiving! How dare you be so shallow as to talk about turkey?!”

Well. I am thanking God. For a lot of things. Turkey included. …and all the people I’m eating that turkey with, of course. And all of you, who I am sure are all eating turkey with your own various family members.

So, happy Thanksgiving, everyone. May today and the rest of your year be blessed. ❤

With love in fandom and in Christ,

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Posted by on November 27, 2014 in *Le Personal


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Not Alone

Not Alone

This Merlin (BBC) fanfiction was submitted by Maggie.

A boot flew from the other side of the room and hit Merlin upside the head, sending him and the armor he was polishing crashing to the ground. He lifted his head from the floor, his mouth open in shock.
“What was that for?”
“It’s for not doing your work, that’s what it’s for!” Prince Arthur yelled. “You’re just staring into space! Like you’ve been doing for the past week.”
Merlin rose slowly from the ground and picked up the armor. “Sorry sire,” he mumbled. “It won’t happen again.” He sat back down on his chair and began scrubbing away at a particularly stubborn spot.
Arthur’s face took on a look of disbelief.
“No sarcastic remarks? No insulting names?”
He paused, waiting expectantly for a reply. He was met with nothing but the sound of Merlin’s rag rubbing against his armor. “Not even an eye roll?”
“I guess not,” Merlin replied markedly, tightening his jaw and tilting his head to the side a bit. He scrubbed harder.
Arthur huffed in surprise.
“You know, Merlin, this depression is really starting to irritate me. I have even been considering getting a new servant. One that isn’t so gloomy all the time.”
Merlin jerkily shrugged his shoulders. “It certainly wouldn’t bother me if you did.” Sarcasm filled his voice.
Arthur threw his hands in the air and raised his eyes upward.
“You’re impossible Merlin! You’ve been like this ever since the dragon attacked.” He stared intently at Merlin, whose scrubbing had intensified. “Is that what’s bothering you? Everyone’s safe now that the dragons’ dead, and Camelot is being rebuilt. There’s nothing to worry about now.”
“That’s not what’s bothering me.”
“Then what is?”
Suddenly, it was if a light flickered to life in Arthur’s eyes. He shook his head.
“Merlin, please don’t tell me this is about that Dragonlord.”
Merlin gripped the armor tightly and fought to control his emotions. He couldn’t have Arthur guessing about who Balinor really was. As much as he wanted to tell him, he knew he couldn’t. He swallowed his tears and shook his head. “No, of course it’s not.”
As hard as he tried to control it, his voice shook a little as he spoke.
“Why is that still bothering you?” Arthur questioned.
“It’s not!” Merlin snapped.
“Well, obviously not!” Arthur growled, angrily gripping the back of the chair he was standing behind.
Merlin doggedly kept on scrubbing. Arthur heaved a sigh. Slowly, he walked over to Merlin and sat on the bench next to him.
“Stop,” he said, gesturing with his chin toward Merlin’s furious scrubbing. Merlin kept at it though, afraid that he wouldn’t be able to control himself if he stopped.
“Merlin,” Arthur warned, but he didn’t let up.
“Merlin, I said stop!” Arthur grabbed the rag from Merlin’s hand and stuffed it in his pocket before Merlin could take it back.
Silence filled the room.
Merlin stared fixedly at the armor, unwilling to look Arthur in the eyes. Arthur kept his gaze on the floor, thinking of what to say.
“Do you remember what I told you that day we came back to Camelot, after the Dragonlord died?”
Merlin nodded quickly, his lips pressed together.
“I meant it, and it’s true. No man is worth your tears. In times of war, men are going to die. It can’t be stopped. And your tears aren’t going to help anything. Merlin, I understand that you have had very little experience with battle and bloodshed. But it’s time you start getting used to the reality of it, harsh as it may be. So, stand up tall and be strong. That’s what my father has always told me, and it’s what I’m telling you now. Alright?”
Merlin nodded silently again. His heart felt like it was being ripped in two. And Arthur didn’t even care.
Against his will, a single tear slipped from his eye. He tried to turn his head before Arthur could see it, but he was too slow.
“Are you serious Merlin?” Arthur’s voice had an edge of frustration to it.
Merlin could feel Arthur glaring at the back of his head in a way that was very unnerving. He jumped up and strode to the window.
“Why can’t you just get over this?” Arthur asked. “You barely even knew the Dragonlord.”
Merlin gritted his teeth against the tears that threatened to spill over. He barely even knew Balinor, his own father, before he died. Arthur had no idea, the big, fat, clotpole of a simpleton. But of course he couldn’t know. He would tell his father, Uther would kill Merlin, and Arthur would never fulfill his destiny, or Merlin his. So Merlin wouldn’t say anything. Swiftly wiping the tears from his eyes, he turned to face Arthur.
“You’re right Arthur. It’s not a big deal.” It almost killed him to say it, but he had no choice.
Arthur pondered over Merlin for a moment, looking for sincerity. Merlin managed a convincing smile.
“Alright. That’s more like it,” the prince said, smiling back. “Now, I think you’ve done a good enough job on that armor, so why don’t you go muck out the horses stalls?”
It’s just one chore after another, isn’t it? Merlin bowed mockingly. “Whatever you say, Prince Prat.”
He marched out of the room, closing the doors to Arthur’s frustrated cry of “MERLIN!”

*     *     *

Merlin dragged his tired feet down the hall to his and Gaius’ chambers. Carefully and quietly, he opened the door and slipped inside.
“Are you here Gaius?” He called. No reply.
He leaned against the closed door and sighed in relief. He hadn’t had a moment’s peace all day. After his near breakdown in Arthur’s chambers, he had been bogged down with chores and errands for both the prince and Gaius. Not to mention the things nearly everyone else in the castle had asked him to do.
But now Arthur had had enough of him, Gaius was helping a patient, and Merlin was finally alone. Though he wasn’t sure he wanted to be.
He had purposely kept himself thoroughly busy over the last week. He didn’t want to think about the dragon’s attack, or anything else that happened. It felt like it was too much for him to handle. And he’d done well not thinking about it until Arthur said something to him this morning. All that day, it had been nagging at the back of his mind. Every little thing reminded him of it. But he had to admit it didn’t feel totally bad to think about.
Hesitatingly, he stepped over to the windowsill where he had left the dragon his father had carved for him. He picked it up and let his fingers run over its lines and curves. Memories of the short but precious time he had spent with his father went through his mind. Learning his father was alive. Meeting him and introducing himself to him. Learning he was a Dragonlord. The carving. Then the attack. The sword. All the blood. His father saying he was proud of him. Then breathing his last.
Merlin shook his head, trying to get rid of the images, but he couldn’t. His father was actually dead and he couldn’t get away from that.
Anger flared suddenly inside of him. Why had he been taken from him so quickly? Was it so wrong for Merlin to finally meet his father? Clutching the dragon in one hand, he paced across the floor, telling himself to calm down. That just made the anger burn hotter, and with it the power inside him rose. Furiously, he slammed his hand against the wall, his magic flashing out of him. The room shuddered beneath it.
He stood there, his hand against the wall, his gasps for air the only noise to speak of. He didn’t feel angry anymore. Just a horrible, deep grief. He blinked and a tear ran down his cheek. Couldn’t he have had just a little more time? Another tear followed the first. A shuddering sigh that was closer to a sob escaped his mouth. He backed up to the nearest chair and sunk into it. Grasping the dragon with both hands he looked at it through his tears. It was all he had left of his father. But it was better than nothing.
A knock sounded from the door, interrupting his thoughts. Though it was quiet, Merlin jumped at the unexpected noise. He didn’t do anything, unsure if he should ask who it was, or just ignore them. But before he could make up his mind, the door opened. Gwen poked her head in through the crack and spotted Merlin. She smiled.
“Hello Merlin. Is Gaius here?”
Merlin leaped out of his chair, hiding the dragon behind his back so Gwen couldn’t see it. He shook his head.
“No, he’s out with a patient. Can, can I get you something?” He stammered. His voice was thick from crying, and tears still blurred his vision. Maybe she won’t notice, he thought.
“Arthur asked me to get the king his medicine.” Concern furrowed her brow. “Is everything alright Merlin?”
Of course she noticed. Nothing ever got past Gwen. He nodded and summoned up a weak smile.
“Everything’s fine. Um, I think Gaius has it prepared. It should be over here somewhere…” He swiveled around, shoving the dragon as gently as he could into his pocket, and walked over to the table where Gaius had put Uther’s medicine.
He wiped the tears from his eyes and rummaged around the bottles, his emotions making his hands shake. He had to get control of himself. Gwen couldn’t know anything about… He knocked one of the glass bottles off the table and onto the stone floor, instantly shattering it. He grunted in frustration and bent down to clean it up.
A hand touched his shoulder. “Let me get it Merlin.”
He looked up into Gwen’s face. Her kind smile pulled at her lips and lightened her eyes. He rose up and stepped aside, nodding his thanks. He couldn’t look at her any longer, so he turned back to the table and searched through the bottles with more careful hands. Gwen’s very presence made his emotions harder to control. There was something about her that made him want to tell her everything. But he wouldn’t tell her. He couldn’t.
Finally, he found the right bottle. “Here it is,” he said, handing it over to Gwen, who had finished cleaning up his mess.
“Thank you,” she said. She looked at Merlin for a moment, studying his red-rimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks. “What’s wrong Merlin?”
Her gentle voice picked at his resolve and brought the tears back to his eyes. “It’s nothing Gwen,” he mumbled, dropping his eyes to the floor.
“Merlin, I know something’s wrong. You haven’t been yourself lately. You can tell me, you know.”
He struggled with what to do for a moment. He was so tired of keeping secrets from everyone. He could tell Gwen, couldn’t he? She would never tell Uther. He looked back up at her caring face, opening his mouth to speak. Then closed it again. If he told her, it would put her in danger. If Uther somehow ever found out because of it, Merlin would surely be put to death, and Gwen with him.
“It’s nothing.” He said it with conviction this time.
Gwen knew he wasn’t going to say more, so she nodded her consent.
“Alright Merlin,” she said quietly.
A real smile lifted the corners of his mouth. He was glad she understood. She smiled back, but her face quickly grew serious again as she looked at him.
“Merlin, I understand that you feel like you can’t tell me this. But I want you to know that I am more than willing to listen to you. Whatever your problem is. And I speak for Arthur too, even though he doesn’t act like it. We’re your friends, Merlin. And as long as you have us, you’re never alone.”
She reached over, and gently grasped his hand.
Tears pricked at his eyes as he listened to her. It took him a moment to regain control, but a smile finally broke through.
“Thanks Gwen,” he whispered.
She smiled back at him again. Giving his hand a last comforting squeeze, she turned and left the chambers, closing the door carefully behind her.

*     *     *
After a hard day’s work, Gaius and Merlin were eating their supper. The silence that permeated the room had only been broken by the muffled sound of chewing and the occasional request for something to be passed over.
Merlin kept his gaze firmly fixed on his food. He just wanted to finish his meal, and go to bed. The day had been long and trying, and he was ready for it to end.
Gaius had kept looking up at Merlin, studying his somber face. He had wanted to speak to him all evening, but was waiting for the right time. But now was as good a time as any.
“Merlin,” he began.
For the first time that evening, Merlin glanced up at him.
“Yes Gaius?” he asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. He felt rather ashamed at the lack of self control he had shown that day. He knew that’s what Gaius was going to talk about. He’d say no one could ever know about his father, or who he was, or who Merlin was. So he looked back down at this food, unwilling to look him in the eyes.
Gaius took a moment to think of the right words.
“I spoke to Gwen today. She knew something was bothering you, but said you were unwilling to talk about it. Did she speak to you sometime today?”
Merlin nodded. Seeing that he wouldn’t get anything else out of him, Gaius continued.
“I told her that you’ve been going through some difficult times lately. She wanted me to remind you that she was there for you. Arthur said something similar to me as well. He said that you were a good friend, and that he didn’t want you to feel that you were alone.”
Merlin smiled through his tears. “Arthur said that?”
Gaius nodded gravely. “He meant it too. Even though you cannot tell Gwen and Arthur exactly what’s wrong, you can let them be there for you.” Gaius smiled a bit, and put his hand on Merlin’s. “Just as I am here for you.”
Merlin showed his thanks through a crooked grin. A tear slid from his eye as he looked at Gaius, struggling to find the words.
“I know they’re there for me. And I know you are too Gaius. Just as you’ve always been.” He swallowed, trying to bring his emotions in check. “It really means a lot to me.” More gratitude than he could put into words shown in his eyes.
“And I always will be there, no matter what.”
Gaius gave Merlin’s hand an affectionate pat. “You’d better finish your supper. It’s getting late, and you’ve got a lot to do tomorrow.”
Gaius rose from his chair and began preparing for bed. Merlin was left sitting alone at the table, but not feeling alone at all.

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Posted by on November 20, 2014 in *Le Submissions


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The Demigods and the Blue Box Part Four

The Demigods and the Blue Box Part Four

Part Three of this series can be found here.

“So you’re saying a Tyrannosaurus Rex just popped over from the past and decided it would be fun to attack my camp?” Annabeth asked, her right foot tapping away on the dirt and trodden-on grass.
“Well,” the Doctor replied slowly, bobbing his head every which way in hesitation. “Kind of. Well… Sort of. Well. A little bit. Somewhat not. It’s all very wibbly wobbly, timey wimey, much too difficult for demigods such as yourself to understand.”
To that Annabeth felt her face flush and her foot’s tapping stopped with one final thud. “I am a child of Athena, goddess of wisdom! It is I who has been trusted with rebuilding Mount Olympus, and I who aided Percy Jackson in fulfilling the Great Prophecy! I have little doubt that I will be able to wrap my head around whatever it is you have to explain to me, and I strongly advise against slighting my intellectual capacity again.”
The Doctor rose his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright. Not too difficult then.” A moment of silence passed.
“I’m waiting,” Annabeth pressed.
“Oh, right, yes, of course! I don’t know.” The Doctor clapped his hands together and smiled broadly.
“You don’t know?” Annabeth asked incredulously. “That’s not hard to understand. What’s hard to understand is how I ever found you useful enough to call you here in the future if ‘I don’t know’ all the help you can give me.”
“Oh, no no, perish the thought! I don’t know now, but that doesn’t mean I won’t know later. That’s part of the fun! Not knowing and then knowing later on. I’d think a child of Athena would know better,” the Doctor chided softly.
Annabeth nodded. “I get it. It is fun. No one understands that quite like an Athena child.” A thought struck her. “Are you a demigod?” she asked.
“A demigod? Me?” asked the Doctor.
“Yeah. Well, are you? A child of Athena, for wisdom, or maybe Hermes, for travel. Zeus maybe, for the sky. Possibly Hephaestus, for the gadgets and technology. Which is it?”
“I’m not a demigod,” the Doctor said.
“You’re not a mortal,” Annabeth retorted.
“No, you’re right, I’m not. I’m not a demigod, I’m not from Tartarus, and I’m not a mortal. There’s a fourth option.” The Doctor coaxed her to figure it out.
Annabeth rose one eyebrow. “Not a demigod, not a monster, and not a mortal. Fourth option. Something else. You… You’re an alien, aren’t you?” Annabeth phrased if as a question, when really she already knew the answer.
The Doctor nodded. “Yep. Timelord of the planet Gallifrey, eons and eons from here. I’m the last of them.”
“And you’re here to help the Grecian demigods of earth?” Annabeth asked.
“It’s what I came for,” the Doctor responded with a nod and a smile.
Annabeth’s eyes left the Doctor and focused instead on the dinosaur that was coming their way despite the demigod warriors who swatted at its toes like mosquitoes at sunset. Annoying enough that the dinosaur was defibitelg agitated, but not enough to do any real damage. “Then help me kill this thing,” she demanded.
“Woah, woah, woah! Not so fast there!” the Doctor said. “You American types, always jumping right to the fighting part. We don’t want to kill it, what did it do wrong? We want to take it back home.”
“What it did wrong is attack my camp,” Annabeth retorted. “And how do you expect to take it back to the past? With your ship? It’s not nearly large enough, even assuming I believe you when you say it travels in time.”
“You’ll be surprised what fits in there,” the Doctor chuckled to himself.
“It doesn’t matter how space effecient you are if it can’t get through the doors,” Annabeth reasoned.
“True. Which is why we need to move to Plan B.”
“What’s Plan B? Annabeth asked, a little more respectfully this time. She left a goodly amount of incredulousness in her voice, however. Didn’t want the Doctor getting too cocky.
“No idea,” the Doctor replied.

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Posted by on November 13, 2014 in *Le Fanfic, *Le Percy Jackson


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