My Testimony

A night or two ago I felt compelled to write an essay describing why I believe what I believe about religion, and though I intended it to be a short essay, it accidentally became ten double-spaced pages. Whoops. Anyways, here is the result. All quoted scripture comes from the NASB, by the way.

Every Christian has a personal testimony. Generally speaking they probably even have a specific spiel to go through, given how common it is in Christendom to ask someone to spontaneously give their testimony. This is mine. Well, no. Not quite. See, this is my testimony, but it isn’t like a normal testimony. This isn’t my personal life story as relating to religion. I honestly have the quintessential boring testimony when it comes to those. Raised in a Christian home, accepted the Lord at an early age, have tried to live for Him since. Your typical stuff. No, instead, this is an essay on why I believe the Bible. This is an essay pertaining not to my life story but to the reasoning behind it.

I believe the entire Bible. This means that I believe 2 Timothy 3:16-17 when it says that “All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.” But why? Why did I decide to have faith in this book that can’t be proven, and that is opposed to so many of humanity’s natural values? Is my faith blind? Am I mindlessly accepting an esoteric work of fiction in order to give myself the false hope of meaning in a meaningless world?

While I unfortunately have to conclude that many Christians do just that, I feel strongly that I have not. Do I have faith? In some cases, even blind faith? Yes. I do. I fully and freely admit that, and that confession in no way causes that faith to waver. I am willing to believe the Bible, and believe God, and even the very existence of God in the first place, on faith, because I first believed it on trust. I believe in the existence and validity of faith, but only in the presence of trust.

Trust is a major part of human life, and is in fact necessary for so many of our dealings with other people, as well as inanimate objects. But what exactly is trust? Dictionary.com lists the first definition of trust as “reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.” Out of seven definitions only as a noun, four of those definitions include the word “confidence.” Trust is about a confident reliance on a person or thing. I take the definition a bit further and stipulate that such a confidence must come from some kind of proof that the person or thing in question is trustworthy. Note the word “proof,” not “evidence.” Evidence can lead to an implication that the person or thing is trustworthy. Proof is explicit. It can leave no room for doubt.

But how does this theory apply practically? Before hiring an employee, companies will run a background check on the individual. This proves that the individual is worthy of enough trust to work at that company. No company would hire an individual based solely on shaky evidence—they want undeniable, factual proof that this person has committed no crime. Before accepting the Bible, a thorough Christian, or perhaps, thorough non-Christian, would cross-check the factual portions of it to confirm their veracity.

An example of this lies in the Hittites. For quite a long time the only mention made of the Hittites was in the Bible, and no evidence of their existence was found anywhere other than that book. This was used by many as “proof” that the Bible was flawed, as clearly such a civilization as described in the Bible would have left at least some kind of legacy. In the 19th and 20th centuries however, the Hittite capital of Hattusa was uncovered by archeologists, and today, the existence of the Hittites is undisputed.

Similarly, many of the biblical customs among the Jews of the Old Testament protected the Jews from infections and diseases not yet known in the ancient world. Among these were the stipulations surrounding the touching of dead things and the cleansing that must be undergone afterwards (Numbers 9:11-13), and the order to not eat shellfish (Leviticus 11:9-12). Both of these stipulations, stated in the Bible and nowhere else, were validated centuries later by scientific discoveries concerning bacteria and other things.

The Bible also predicted the later discoveries that the Earth is round and the universe is expanding (Isaiah 40:22), and that the Earth hangs on nothing (Job 26:7), the contradictions of all of which were common assumptions of the day.

We will come to the reasoning of Jews and Christians living before these discoveries in due time; for now, I want to focus on the fact that the Bible is an accurate historical and scientific record which can be used to predict new discoveries—an ability much esteemed in modern science. This is one way to establish trust in the Bible. These are facts that cannot be argued, and they point clearly to the idea that the Bible was inspired by a Being with infinite knowledge, far above human capabilities. It also points to such a Being as being loving, as He didn’t have to tell the Jews how to avoid such diseases and infections, but chose to protect them from those things despite.

Another piece of proof lies in the Dead Sea Scrolls, discovered in the mid-1900s. These scrolls contain portions of the Hebrew Old Testament, and are estimated at having originated between 408 BC and 318 AD. The content of the scrolls matches nearly exactly to the current translations of the Bible. This proves that those parts of the Bible, at the very least, were in fact written at least as far back in history as those times, and have not been muddled in translation over the years. Other, similar documentation, comprised of both the Old and New Testaments, has been found in other areas at different times, but currently, the Dead Sea Scrolls are the oldest surviving copies of the Old Testament.

Yet another factor that can lead to plausible trust in the Bible is the fact that in all my studies of it, and all others’ studies of it, the Bible has not contradicted itself. Because of the Dead Sea Scrolls and other documents, we can know for certain that these texts were written at wildly differing times, in wildly differing places, in wildly differing languages. Such a collective document ought to be riddled with contradictions and inconsistencies, yet somehow, the Bible agrees with itself without fail. Yes, at times the meanings can be unclear, and can seem contradictory, but with further cross-references and reasoning, all such apparent contradictions can be readily resolved.

Further, at no point is the Bible inconsistent with science. This may seem shocking to many non-Christians, and indeed, to many Christians as well, but nevertheless it is true. The currently popular Big Bang Theory, and the Theory of Evolution, are both just what their names say they are: theories. Neither of those things are fact, nor are they irrefutable. I have mentioned many instances where the Bible predicted a scientific discovery. To date, the Bible has never been disproven by any scientific discovery, but has only ever been further evidenced by them.

The biblical concept of a 6 day creation and a young Earth causes the evaporation of many issues that leave evolutionists bewildered, such as the amount of salt in the oceans, which is far, far below the level old Earth proponents claim it ought to be, as well as the increasing distance between the Earth and the moon, which is not nearly as far along as old Earth proponents would assume it must be. For more on this topic, you will have to research other sources, as I only have minimal knowledge in this area. A good place to start is Answers in Genesis, a company devoted to explaining creation and the world as we know it through the book of Genesis.

The Bible seems to hold up in every area that can be tested by man. This makes the Bible worthy of trust. Now, an obvious argument is that not all of the Bible can be proven as the above examples can be. That is correct. Not all of the Bible can be proven. However, not all of anything can be proven. There are portions of the people you trust most confidently that you cannot prove with certainty, yet you believe them. There are aspects of the things you trust most confidently that you cannot prove with certainty either, yet you believe them too. Why would you do such a thing? Believing what you can prove is all well and good and seems obvious, but why believe the things you cannot prove? This is where trust fades away and gives rise to a similar concept: faith.

Once we have established trust in a specific person, we are more willing to accept something new from that person, even if only on faith. This is not wrong, and in fact, is the natural consequence of trust. One does not have faith in a person or thing one cannot trust. Without trust, faith is inappropriate, as it is without a logical foundation and in such a case rests only on an emotional one. However, once trust has been established, one will find themselves more readily able to accept new information from that source without solid proof. If a friend who has always valued you and been completely honest with you in the past tells you a piece of information you find hard to believe, will you believe it from that person? You may very well. That is all well and good, as that person has been proven to esteem both you and honesty in the past, and can thus be trusted to not abuse the benefit of the doubt in future situations. Because of this built up trust, you may even believe your friend when the information they tell you makes no sense to you. You trust, you have faith, that in time, the explanation will be proven correct. Faith is trust in the future tense, and trust is faith in the past tense.

An oft-cited example of this is the Chair Analogy, which demonstrates how, after trust has been established (the chair is well made and previous experience indicates that the chair will be capable of its duty in the future), the person in question will feel comfortable enough to take new information or actions from the trusted person on faith (the man sits in the chair, trusting in it not to let him fall, despite not having checked the chair directly before sitting down). Did the man have faith in the chair, devoid of proof that his faith was well placed? Yes. He neglected to inspect the chair before sitting down. Did the man do so mindlessly, and was the man at fault? No. The man had reason to have faith in the chair. The chair had proven trustworthy in other areas. Now. The Chair Analogy is sometimes used to demonstrate other virtues, but it drives this point home as well.

Would you necessarily accept the seemingly nonsensical information that you might accept from your trusted friend from a source you did not previously trust? No, it is not likely you would. Nor should you. Faith can only be valid when in the presence of trust. There are portions of the Bible that must currently be taken on faith. There are portions of it that cannot be proven. One of the most prominent examples of this is the book of Revelation; an entire book of the Bible that has not yet taken place and must therefore be taken solely on faith. However, I have built up trust in the Bible, as I explained previously. This means that I am willing to have faith in the parts of it I do not yet understand, trusting that in time, I will.

I have noticed that many people, both Christians and non-Christians alike, have assumed that faith is something that must come intuitively, and that as it can’t be fully proven, only evidenced, it must be at least partially mindless. It can’t be deeply pondered, as that would result in a wavering of faith, which is doubt; a thing clearly rebuked in the very Bible you’ve begun to doubt. Clearly what James meant in James 1:6, “But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind,” is that the Bible must be completely accepted blindly and would not hold up under scrutiny. Never mind that this thinking is itself anti-biblical, as stated in Psalm 1:2-3, among other places; “But his delight is in the law of the LORD, And in His law he meditates day and night. He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, Which yields its fruit in its season And its leaf does not wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers.”

Earlier, I wrote extensively of various occasions wherein the Bible has predicted science, and how the Bible has yet to contradict either itself or scientific law. Clearly, the Bible is a thing we are meant to ponder and meditate on. This is religion. This is the foundation of human existence. This is our past, present, and future. This is our eternity. And this is our very purpose for existing in the first place. One must not take that kind of thing lightly. We are meant to study it. We are meant to scrutinize it. And we are meant to meditate on it, both day and night. To do so is not to doubt; it is to obey.

Now, don’t forget, this is a testimony, not simply a theoretical debate. No testimony is complete without a salvation message. How does what I’ve said lead to your walk with Jesus? Well… How doesn’t it? If we look at the evidence, we must trust the Bible, and if we trust the Bible, it logically follows that we must have faith in it. Once we have faith in it, we must believe all of it. Once we believe all of the Bible… We must believe that Christ loved us while we were yet sinners and died for us on the Cross to pay for our sins. We must believe that He rose again on the third day, and that He is coming back for us. We must believe that our purpose in both this life and the next is to accept His gift of salvation and follow Him. I dislike the term “free gift.” Salvation isn’t free. Salvation involves surrendering yourself to Jesus and declaring Him to be the Lord of your life. Literally, not figuratively. You literally become a servant of God. Too often Christianity downplays that part and focuses on the gift of God. Yes, the gift is free in that we do not need to pay with works, or materials. We pay with our souls.

Why would we agree to such a thing? Isn’t freedom better? Why would anyone choose the narrow road, when the wide road equals your individual freedom? Well firstly, doing so is the only way to avoid eternal damnation in Hell. If you were looking for a self-serving reason to be a Christian, look no further. But also because it was God who made us in the first place. We may think we could be happier serving ourselves rather than Him, but that thinking is simply incorrect. We were designed to serve, and to love, and to have a relationship with, God. He loves us. He wants the best for us. And He knows, infinitely better than we do, what that best truly is. That’s something we need to have faith in. Because He has proven Himself trustworthy in the past, and because if we do have faith, someday, our faith will become trust. First Corinthians 13:12 promises this very thing when it says, “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known.” We must have faith for now. But we are promised that one day, our faith will be sight.

If we are trusting and having faith in Jesus, what does that mean for our walk here on Earth? Well, CS Lewis puts it nicely in his book, Mere Christianity, when he says; “To trust Him means, of course, trying to do all that He says. There would be no sense in saying you trusted a person if you would not take his advice. Thus if you really handed yourself over to Him, it must follow that you are trying to obey Him. But trying in a new way, a less worried way. Not doing these things in order to be saved, but because He has begun to save you already.” We must pick up our crosses and follow Him (Matthew 16:24). We must obey His commands. We must follow the Bible to the best of our ability, and always strive to become more like Him whom we serve and has saved us.

It isn’t, and won’t be easy. It never has been and it never will be. Jesus Himself tells his disciples as much. We must adopt the attitude of James when he says in James 1:2-4; “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” But that is not all. John 16:33 tells us openly that yes, we will have trouble, but we will also have hope. “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Jesus has overcome the world. All of it. We can’t even beat all of an MMO, and yet Jesus has overcome all of this world. No matter what trials we face, He will be with us, and He has overcome. It may not seem like it at times. It may not seem like it at most times. He may seem very, very silent. But He is always there, truly, and promises that, as it says in Romans 8:28; “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Bad things will happen to us. We will have trouble. We may even despair at the sight of the trials ahead of us in this life. But no matter what the world throws at us, God can make it work to our good, and perhaps most importantly of all, He has overcome.

I don’t know how effective this essay will be. In fact, I don’t even really know if anything I just spent the last two and a half hours writing makes any sense. It does to me. Maybe that’s enough, at least for now. My intention was to write a testimony that described in detail exactly why I believe what I believe, and to my knowledge, that is what I have done. So, I guess you have what I promised you’d have by the end of this monolithic essay. You have my testimony.

Works Cited
“Answers in Genesis.” Answers in Genesis. N.p., n.d. Web. 03 July 2015.
Lewis, C. S. Mere Christianity. New York: Macmillan, 1958. Print.
New American Standard Bible. La Habra, CA: Foundation Publications, for the Lockman Foundation, 1971. Print.
Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation, n.d. Web. 03 July 2015.

 

Hiatus

As you may or may not have noticed, I’ve taken an unplanned and unexpected hiatus. Halfway through a full length fanfic, too. I am sorry about that. Anyway, I guess it’s time you should know something of what happened and when the hiatus will be over.
March was a rough time for me for a lot of reasons, my junior year of high school being a big part of that, and I literally did not have time to write. I’d type as quickly as I could on Wednesday nights so that I could post on Thursday mornings. It became a major source of anxiety for me, disrupted my sleeping patterns every other Wednesday, and resulted in a lesser quality of writing. So one night I decided I was too tired to stay up and write, and I just never posted anything that week. Or the next week. Or the next week. By this time I’d decided simply to go on hiatus. I’m sorry I didn’t post anything before now.
Here’s how this is going to work. It’s July now, so half way through the year. This hiatus is now official, and it has an official end date. I will start posting regularly again as of the first Thursday in January 2016. I know, that’s a long wait, and if any of you are still out there and still care, I’m sorry. During the next six months I will finish writing my Demigods and the Blue Box series, and when I come back, I will be posting the final chapters of that every Monday, in addition to normal posts every other Thursday. I will also write six new one shots so that I have a three month buffer of fanfiction, so that hopefully I never have to hiatus on you again. If anyone has any suggestions of what I should write for my one shots, by the way, please comment!
I have this idea that I’ll make a special Christmas fanfic, but I’m not sure on that one yet. I feel like that could be fun though.
In the meantime, I’ll continue writing the short holiday posts I usually write, and I will probably be posting a few other things, such as my personal reviews of shows I’ve recently watched, etc.
Lastly, I’m still taking submissions, so if you have a fanfic of your own that you want to post on the Internet without making your own account or site, visit my *Le Submissions page and send it in!
Thanks for your patience during this randomly long hiatus.
With love in fandom and in Christ,
Marie

 

The Infinity Dreams Award

I was nominated for The Infinity Dreams award by Savannah from A Scattering of Light. Thank you, Savannah! (Her blog is great, guys, you should all go check it out.)

{ Rules }

1. Thank and follow the blog that nominated you.
2. Tell us 11 facts about yourself.
3. Answer the questions that were set for you to answer.
4. Nominate 11 2 bloggers and set questions for them.

{ 11 Facts About Me }

1. My hair is 43 inches long, incredibly thick, and is comprised of probably every hair color there is excepting black. It looks more blonde in the summer, more brown in the winter, and occasionally it somehow looks bright auburn.

2. Elsa from Frozen is the closest any fictional character has ever come to representing me in fiction.

3. To my shame, I have not read the Lord of the Rings, even though the movies are my life and the Hobbit is my favorite novel.

4. My favorite kind of candy is exceptionally dark chocolate.

5. I don’t really care for amusement parks. (Disneyland being an exception.)

6. I’m a Highly Sensitive Person, or HSP.

7. Eeyore is my spirit animal. Some people are a lion, or a wolf, but I am a depressed, sawdust-stuffed donkey.

8. I was sick two weeks ago, was almost getting over it, and now am sick with something else. That’s fun.

9. I generally don’t like superhero movies, but the Marvel cinematic universe is becoming an exception to that.

10. I tried to be a video gamer, I really did, but the only two games I really like are World of Warcraft and Legend of Zelda, and I mostly like those two for the lore, not the gameplay.

11. Most of my ancestors were Scandinavian, making me basically a viking. :3

{ Savannah’s Questions }

1. What’s your favorite book from when you were small?

Define small. I mean if we’re talking toddler, then Golden Book’s Cinderella. Mom says she memorized it because I wanted her to read it so often. A bit later on, Elsie’s Endless Wait. Excellent book for all young Christian girls… or honestly, any Christian girl.

2. If you met the villain of your work-in-progress in the grocery store, what would he or she have in their cart?

I write in fantasy, so well, no one goes to grocery stores. And technically my villain is a sovereign, so he’d probably have servants to do that for him. Now if he were transported to a 2015-esque Costco, then, after panicking because of the sudden time travel, he’d probably be a fan of the pizza.

3. What was one of your best dreams ever?

I stole the ring of power from Gollum with the help of Lily Evans and then escaped onto the Death Star where Lily had to leave me and I snuck around with Sherlock until we were in a small living room and I realized with a start that the victim in the room had been gassed to death. I tried to warn Sherlock, but saw him fall just as I blacked out, and that’s when I woke up to my alarm, muttered “but I have to find out what the third act was,” and tried to fall back asleep to no avail. That was pretty good.

4. Which do you like better: Chocolate chip cookies, or vanilla ice cream?

Hard, but vanilla ice cream. Ice cream tho. Ice cream.

5. If you had the chance to go to France or England, which would you choose? Why?

England. Because, BBC. Nuff said.

6. If you could pick one song to describe one of your favorite characters, what would it be?

Skyward Sword’s Zelink pairing is basically perfectly summed up in the song A Thousand Years.

7. What’s your least favorite color?

Possibly red. Bright, vibrant, piercing red that blares at you angrily. Crimsons I’m more ok with.

8. How do you stop hiccups?

Honestly, I don’t. I do the water thing occasionally if I get desperate but usually I just suffer.

9. What’s one book that really irritated you?

The Scarlet Letter. The themes were great, don’t get me wrong, but you’re introduced to Hester Prynne and for the first third of the book she’s the only protagonist. At a third of the way through suddenly you have dual protagonists. I as a reader really didn’t like the feeling that I’d been lied to about who the book was about. That did annoy me. That said, the themes in it are worth exploring.

10. What’s something you were always scared to do?

Most things, if I’m being honest. I’m really good at seeing the risks involved in any situation and from there generally decide it’s a bad idea to try whatever it is. Oh, here’s one. I was scared for a long time of forming any kind of a close friendship because I knew I’d be risking losing that person eventually, or being hurt by them. I got over that one recently. It was well worth the risk. Well worth. But be careful- not everyone out there is worth that risk.

11. Would you eat garlic ice cream?

As much as I love garlic, and as much as I love ice cream, no. Well, ok. I’d try it just so that I could say that I had. I would not however try more than necessary for bragging rights.

{ My Questions for the Nominees}

1. What is your favorite book that you have read for school?

2. What originally got you writing?

3. Which movie are you most excited for this year?

4. Do you prefer large, or small cities?

5. Opinion on poetry?

6. When writing, do you do any outlining first, or do you go right for the first draft?

7. Who is your favorite author?

8. Do you like Frozen? Why or why not?

9. DC, Marvel, or neither?

10. Favorite song with lyrics?

11. Favorite song without lyrics?

And I nominate… Angela and Emma. (I know, I broke the rules a little and didn’t make it to 11. Sorry.) If you don’t want to do this, that’s ok too, but know I was thinking of you.

 

Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award

Hello!

I was nominated for the “Sisterhood of the World Bloggers” award, by Stories and a Smile. Thanks! 🙂 I’m so happy you enjoyed my blog enough to nominate me.

I haven’t had the time to look through her blog much, but from what I’ve seen I can definitely recommend it.

Here are the rules…

1. Thank the blogger who nominated you, linking back to their site.
2. Put the award logo on your blog.
3. Answer the ten questions they’ve set you.
4. Make up ten new questions for your nominees to answer.
5. Nominate ten people.

And the questions for me to answer are…

1. Where is one place you would love to visit?
Lemme pull a mainstream here and say London, from what I’ve seen, London and the surrounding area sounds like a very nice place.
2. What is your favorite song at the moment?
My favorite song since I discovered it in May of this year is Lindsey Stirling’s cover of River Flows In You. Kinda boring for a lot of people no doubt, but this song is important to me.
3. What is your favorite tv show?
That… That’s not a question you’re allowed to ask! Who said you could ask such a question? I guess… if I had to choose… I’d have to say… BBC’s Sherlock. I love so many tv shows, guys, Doctor Who another notable one, but if I had to pick, I’d say Sherlock edges out the others by just a tiny bit.
4. If you could invite someone over for dinner (alive or dead) who would it be?
This is kind of like asking a Christian what his or her favorite book is. Obs I’m going to say Jesus. But, since that’s an answer all Christians share, I guess I’ll also tell you who my second choice would be. Probably CS Lewis. He’s kind of my hero, in a lot of ways. Although admittedly I’d be a tad bit nervous trying to make conversation with someone as brilliant as he.
5. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why?
The ability to transform the clouded and foggy thoughts in my head into words on a screen without spending lengthy amounts of time sifting through words in the English language, only to have to settle on words that can’t ever seem to quite capture my exact meaning. My current predicament is quite annoying. As a writer, I hate it so much I’ve chosen to spend the rest of my life doing it. :3
6. What is your favorite time of day? (night, morning, midday, etc)
On principle, I like it when I can wake up just before the sunrise and can go outside to look at the dewy roses while the sun comes up. It may be for that reason that In the Garden has been my favorite worship song for as long as I can remember.
7. Do you have any pets? If not, what pet would you want?
My family has two beagle littermates, Bixie and Capt. Jack. They’re about 5 1/2 now.
8. What do you feel is the best thing about yourself?
Oh gosh. That’s a good question. Um. I guess, right now, if I had to call any of the things that I do or am to be my best quality, I’d say it was my empathy. Now, the empathy thing can be really annoying at times, too, and I can overreact to what I think are nonverbal cues quite often when there are none, but for the most part I have the ability to talk to another person and understand their emotional troubles quite well. A lot of the time, I am able to feel exactly what they feel. That comes in handy when trying to help others who are hurting. I’d have to say that’s the quality I value most in myself, at least for the time being.
9. Who is your favorite character in a book or a movie, and why do you like them so much?
Darn it, this is like that tv show question! You can’t expect me to answer this! There are so many, guys, but for now I’m going to say Elsa. Elsa is special to me because she is the closest to embodying me that any fictional character has ever come.
10. Why did you start blogging?
Ah yes, ok, finally, a question I can answer. I started this site after I had long wanted an FF.net account, but after looking at that site, knew I could never associate myself with such a worldly environment. I could trust my own content, of course, but I’d never be able to trust commenters. So instead I opted to create my own site for fangirls who, like me, wanted to write and read fanfiction, but didn’t want to compromise their morals in the process. And thus Clean Fangirling was born. 🙂

My nominees:

I’ll admit, I don’t follow very many blogs myself. I don’t even know if I follow 10. But, I’ll aim for as close to the allotted 10 as I can get.

Proceeding with Joy

A Scattering of Light

The Peculiar Messenger

Journeys of an Industrious Yarnwriter

Idle Wanderings

Sorry, but those 5 will just have to be enough.

My Questions:

1. Favorite quote from a person living or dead?
2. Favorite quote from a fictional character?
3. If you could bring any fictional character back to life, who would it be?
4. What do you most value about yourself?
5. Favorite song with lyrics?
6. Favorite song without lyrics?
7. Cats or dogs?
8. Introvert or Extrovert?
9. Poetry or prose?
10. Why did you start blogging originally?

Thanks again for the nomination! I hope my nominees enjoy the award and keep the cycle going.

 

The Denouement

With this year coming to a close, it’s time to look back on the “unravelling” of it. 2014. 2014… How shall I sum thee up? So many things happened this year, and so much changed in my life. Ok. I guess I’ll go chronologically.

The year kicked itself off with me basically entering depression for a few months, though at the time I refused to call it so. The period of time in which I can say I experienced true depression, and not just natural mood swings, ended around the beginning of April. So that’s how this year started off.

In early April my family bought a house. This was one of the last houses we bid on before considering moving out of the San Francisco Bay Area, and we won the bid at a lower price than our competitor, would you believe it. And we had exactly, not one penny more, but exactly enough money to pay the downpayment and move. And as a side note being so busy with packing and school and packing and more school quite possibly helped me out of depression, too. God really does have some good timing.

At the end of July a really cool thing happened. I woke up to a Facebook message from a person I had long wanted to be friends with, but never was able to get close to at all. Turns out he recently realized he wanted that same thing, and unlike me who had basically just been giving subtle hints for the past two years, he realized that he wanted me as a friend and decided to, well, make that happen. And now? Well… Anyone online who talks to me more than half a second has probably heard me refer to Josh at least once. Coolest thing that happened this year. Hands-down. Absolutely.

And then my junior year of high school began. Oh my goddess Nayru, guys, this is the busiest I have ever been. I thought sophomore year was busy… In the words of Thorin Oakenshield, “I have never been so wrong.” School may sound like kind of something that’s in the background of life and not really on the highlight reel. Well. This is not the background of my life. This is the forefront. And as I am after all only a lowly teenager going through that horrible thing we call “puberty” at the same time, this part of 2014 has been… interesting, to say the least. Thank God I made that best friend of mine back in July, because I can only assume that He knew I’d need friends with me to do this without blowing up.

Ok. Well. I’d be surprised if I haven’t lost a few readers by this point… This is turning out to be a really long New Year’s Eve post. Sorry guys. I kind of tend to ramble.

Last year, on 2013’s New Year’s Eve post, I mentioned some things I wanted to do this year. Well. Haha. I did almost none of those things. This year… It was not at all what I could have expected. In some ways it was harder, of course, and in some ways, it was so much better. This year was drastically different than I expected and the things I achieved were almost entirely different from the things I thought I would be. It was hard, and different, and a lot of it was pretty scary, but is proof to me that all things work to the good of those who love God and are called according to His service. (Romans 8:28)

I owe the success of this year to quite a few people, and here’s where I’d like to thank just a few of them. Thank you all so much. You are the reasons I can reflect on this year with satisfaction.

•Chloe
You’re really cool. Like. No, seriously. It’s my philosophy that no matter what you get on your Myres Briggs test it’s physically impossible for a child to be a true T type. Pubescent humans will simply always have traces of F in them while growing. But you break that mold. You’re 13 years old and you hold yourself together in emotionally tense situations better than I do. You’re incredible.

•Joze
Wow. My little boy is almost gone. There’s still traces of him, sure—traces that I for better or worse continue to cling to—but you’re growing up. As time goes on I’m sure that the age gap between us will slowly fade away and we’ll simply be friends… But for now, I can still get away with occasionally treating you like my own little boy. Well. I mean. I’m sure I’ll always think of you that way. Heck, I think of nearly everyone that way, and you’re my baby brother. But the point stands. You’re growing up, and I can’t wait to see the man you grow into.

•My parents
A lot of the things I said last year continue into this year. You still love me more than pretty much anyone else, and your critiques are still the most trustworthy. I’ve been realizing, and I think both of you have been too, this year, that I’m growing up. I’m 16 now. In two years, I’ll be an officially recognized adult. Growing up to some means needing parents less and relying on yourself more, and while that’s true from a certain angle, I think that in these next few years I’ll be needing you as much as I ever have. I have a lot to learn in these years, and you hold almost all the answers. So thank you, so very much, for everything you’ve done for me already. But your job isn’t quite over yet. 😋

•Joshua
I owe quite a bit to you, you know. Arguably I owe 2014 to you. Without you I would have openly declared this year to be my worst year on record. In the space of a few months, you have gone from a light acquaintance to my best friend, and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be. You know how I feel about words and finding the perfect ones to describe things, so you know how much it means when I tell you that you remain ineffable to me. I will be here for you for as long as you will have me… and though I’d never let you see it, quite possibly after that, as well.

•Jessica
At the beginning of this year if I knew you’d be at church I’d wear a nicer shirt and put on extra makeup. Now look. I mean, heck, Josh introduced us, but technically I was friends with you before I was friends with him. Daisies remind me of you for some reason. I’m still not sure exactly what that one’s about, but I’m an INFJ, so there’s probably a profound underlying meaning of some kind. Do what you will with that. Anyway. Don’t stop being awesome.👌

•Anslie
Congrats on being the only person from last year (minus family) who’s also here this year. Sure, there were times this year where we both were so busy at such different times that we barely talked to each other at all, but as that one saying goes, “true friendship isn’t about being inseparable; it’s about being separated and nothing changes.” You’re an amazing friend and an amazing person. Remember that. And don’t forget—pants.

•Naomi
You’re all kinds of awesome. A beautiful dancer, a great piano teacher, a fun personality, a talented writer. Also fellow INFJ. It’s funny, sometimes, when I see in you things that I legitimately thought were just me. Having days where you kind of just can’t put thoughts into words and end up just slamming your fingers onto the keyboard, for one. Making analogies as a way of explaining things. I mean… It’s just like poetry. 😂

•Alyssa
Thank you. I never even told you, just as I never told a lot of people, that this year was proving to be a tough one for me, and yet you still were able to make me feel better every time I talked to you. Even through a computer your very personality radiates joy, and when I talk to you, some of that joy often leaks into me. You are truly beautiful, from the inside out.

•Emma
We’ve never actually met, but regardless, you and I understand each other. And that is a beautiful thing. Talking with you has always left me feeling refreshed. It’s not often I find someone who works the same way I do, and you seem to operate in all those same ways. Thank you.

This year has proved to me that people you never expected to leave can sometimes fade out of your life, but that people you never expected to come into your life can walk right into it, too. God has perfect timing, always.

Now for the New Year’s Resolution bit. We all know how well that worked for me last year… But maybe this year will be different. And if I’m destined not to complete this checklist, then maybe, much like this year, I’m destined for better than it.

•I will have a full first draft of my first novel.

•I will be able to drive.

•I will have completed my junior year of high school.

•I will complete my Goodreads book-reading challenge.

•I will have 365 rows of a day-by-day scarf.

I make these plans keeping James 4:15 in mind: “Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.” I’m setting these goals now, but should The Lord direct me elsewhere, I will not hesitate to go.

Happy New Year, everyone. And may it be blessed.

With love in fandom and in Christ,
Marie

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hey, everyone! 🙂

So firstly, since it’s Thanksgiving, I decided not to post my regularly scheduled fanfiction. It’ll be up next week, and then from there I’ll be switching which Thursday I alternate on. So one fanfic next week, then a two week break, then a fic, and so on.

Now that that’s over… Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! I was thinking about talking about how privileged we Internet-loving first world citizens are, but that sounded way mainstream. So instead of that, I’m going to talk about…

Turkey. Let’s be honest, turkey is great. And stuffing, that’s also good. Let’s just all be thankful for potatoes. That’s right. PO-TA-TOES.

“But Marie, you’re Christian! You have to talk about spiritual stuff on a religious holiday such as Thanksgiving! How dare you be so shallow as to talk about turkey?!”

Well. I am thanking God. For a lot of things. Turkey included. …and all the people I’m eating that turkey with, of course. And all of you, who I am sure are all eating turkey with your own various family members.

So, happy Thanksgiving, everyone. May today and the rest of your year be blessed. ❤

With love in fandom and in Christ,
Marie

 

New Schedule!

Hey lovelies!

So, here’s the thing. I am about to be a junior in high school. With high school comes quite a bit of work. Work that takes precedence over everything else. I also have a dream of publishing a novel someday, and so need to have time for working on that kind of writing, and not always fanfic.

But at the same time, fanfic is one of my favorite ways to relax, and I love hearing from you all every week about whatever I’ve written. So here’s the deal.

I simply can’t keep up with one fanfic a week anymore, if I expect quality. So I am now only going to post every other Thursday. I will post every piece at the same time, 6:00 am West Coast time, but I will only be posting every other week. I’m sorry I can’t keep up with one a week.

Thank you all so much for supporting this blog, and thank you for understanding. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to write about it in the comments. And if you have your own PG or under fanfic that you want published on this site, please see my “*Le Submissions” page on the bar at the top.

With love in fandom and in Christ,
Marie

 

So Sorry!

So sorry there isn’t any Fear Landscape this week guys. Last night I got back from a youth camp and, even though I’d meant to make one up last night, I was simply too exhausted. I’ll have one next week. Anyway, sorry about that. I’ll be looking forward to seeing what you think of next week’s Fear Landscape!

With love in fandom,
Marie

 

Clean Fangirling: Submissions!

Yes, the entire point of this post is to advertise. Or, to put it in a more favorable light, to market.

I’ve had an extra feature for a while now, and it occurred to me lately that I’ve never really said anything about it, and so people probably don’t know about it. So I’m writing this post to fix that.

I take submissions. You can see up in my menu bar that the last page I have, in the upper right hand corner of your computer, is titled “*Le Submissions.” Here’s what that is and how it works.

If you go to that page, you’ll find a form with boxes for you to put your name, link of your choice, fandom, whether or not you want proofreading, a fun non-related question, a check-box for rating, and a text box for your fanfic. That’s my submissions form. All you have to do to have your fanfiction published on this blog, giving you full credit and in my “*Le Submissions” category, is fill out that form and click send. Oh, and have a clean fanfic. That too.

For those of you unwilling to give the world too much of your information, let me explain what’s optional on this form. You do have to put a name, however, I don’t care what that is. It could be first and last, just first, a username, a pen name, or even simply “anonymous” for all I care. I just need to have something to put down with the fanfic so that I don’t take credit for someone else’s work.

Optionally, you can add a link to a site of your choice. The idea behind this one is to let people go see more of your work if you want, but it’s totally optional. You could do your Pinterest, Instagram, tumblr, blog… again, I don’t really care. I mean, keep it clean, but it’s there if you want to bring more traffic to another site of yours. Totally, 100% optional.

You have to include which fandom it’s from. Since I can’t be in ALL fandoms, I like to have that so I know approximately what to expect and whatnot. Obviously it’s not personal info, so it’s not invasive.

I wanted to have one fun, non-related question on the form, and right how it’s asking you your opinion on the Oxford comma. Completely optional, just fun.

A new feature is proofreading. It’s always nice to have a second pair of eyes look at your writing before it goes up on the Internet, and I happen to really like proofreading, so if you click that box I’ll go ahead and proofread your work before posting it. I won’t change any of what you’ve written besides grammar correction, spelling, and formatting. It’s not editing, it’s just proofreading.

You have to check the box saying your fanfic has a rating of PG or lower. No, it has no real effect. I just figure people are less likely to lie if they have to, well, flat-out lie. It also states exactly what my boundaries are.

And lastly, the text box for your fanfic is obviously a required field. If you want to add a title, put it at the top of your fanfic. If you don’t include a title, I will have to choose one for you. Every post has to have a title, after all.

That’s it. That’s the whole form. You’re not giving me an email, because the form just tells me it’s from Clean Fangirling when I receive it in my own email inbox. The only personal information you’re giving me is whatever name you want to give me and any link you decide to include or not include. Other than that the only thing I’ll know about you is your writing style.

So there’s the marketing post. I built the submissions part of this blog so that other fangirls who, like me, are tired of the constant immorality of most fanfiction could post their own on a site that they know is clean. So if you have fanfic you’d like to post but don’t want a FF.net account or your own blog, why not consider submitting to this one?

I’ll be looking forward reading your work. 🙂

With love in fandom,
Marie

 

The Fear Landscape Series and a News Update

Hey guys,
As you know this has been a very busy time for me. Not only has school been getting more and more intense for me lately, but I’ve also moved very recently. Consequently, something had to be cut, and unfortunately, it was writing. For the last couple of weeks I’ve been posting only things that I had already written, and I haven’t written any new material in a while. As my life will only be getting crazier, my sort-of hiatus is just going to have to continue.

But, I recently read the book Divergent by Veronica Roth. Maybe someday I’ll get the chance to write an analysis of it, but enough of the book itself. There was one idea in it that I really loved. The fear landscapes. For those who don’t know, a person’s fear landscape in this book is a simulation the characters go through that presents the character’s worst fears to them and forces them to overcome them. I felt this was a brilliant way to do a character study.

So now I’m going to start a new series of fanfics, one that I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to keep up with. It’ll be called the Fear Landscape Series, and every week I’ll take a character from any of my fandoms and run them through their own fear landscape. I’ll write about what the fears are, how the character gets past them, and possibly how that affects the character after the simulation is over. I have no idea how many of these I’m going to do, but I have at least a couple characters in mind already. If you have any character requests, please go ahead and comment it! I’ll only do it if I feel I could make a good story out of it and know the character well, but as long as it’s from a fandom I’m familiar with I’ll probably be able to do it.

Thank you for your patience with me during this incredibly busy time. Again, I’m so sorry about the If Things Had Been Different series, parts one and two of which can be found here and here. I promise to get back to that as soon as I can, but I want to take the time to do that right and I know that these fear landscapes are going to be fairly easy to keep up with. Thanks once again for following this blog!

With love in fandom,
Marie